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LETTING GO OF CONTROL
It’s true. Sometimes not being in control is the most beautiful thing in the world. Why? Because fear fosters control. And every single time we release the power fear has over us, life becomes beautiful!

Think about those times you’ve tried to control situations in your life or in your child’s life. This impulse to control stems from the fear of not wanting something to occur or from wanting to protect yourself or your child from experiencing pain, hurt, or disappointment. Control and manipulation are not derivatives of love. They are derivatives of fear. Each moment we live our lives or mother from a place of fear, we unintentionally impede the flow of love from emanating from us out into our lives and towards our children.


LOVE is the opposite of fear. TRUST is the opposite of control. Every time you make the conscious decision to trust yourself in your mothering, trust your child to do something for herself, or trust this moment to be perfectly placed in your life, you become a shining beacon of love (kinda like a lighthouse that projects light out into the foggy night). This is the beauty that arises when you allow yourself to not be in total control of every single aspect of your life or your child’s life.

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CHOOSING TRUST
"A wise mother does not unnecessarily interfere with her child's life. Your children have their own process-- their own thoughts, feelings, and reactions-- which must be allowed to unfold. If you do not trust your children's process, your children will not trust anyone or anything. Your confidence in them builds their confidence in themselves." 
(Vimala McClure, The Tao of Motherhood)

Being aware of our habit (and egoic desire) to control is important to mindful mothering. It’s only in this awareness that we grant ourselves the ability to make the choice to let go of just the right amount of control at just the right time. Trust yourself as a mama, and you’ll instinctively know when you should allow your child to rely on himself in certain situations.

When it comes to our kids, each time we make the choice to trust and not control, we allow our child’s confidence and self-pride to grow. Self-confidence is the bedrock of trust. When we believe in ourselves and our abilities, we trust ourselves. It’s only when we truly trust ourselves that we can then begin to trust other people and the moments of our lives. When you LET GO of control, you ALLOW for your child’s confidence to grow.

YOUR MINDFUL MOTHERING PRACTICE
Trust is an expression of divine love. This week in your mindful mothering practice, pay attention to your urge to control. When that urge strikes, draw your attention to the fearful thoughts that underlie it. Choose to think a different thought. Remember the beautiful tradeoff that occurs every time you choose trust over control. Trust instills confidence, love, and hope-- in your child, yourself, and the moments in your life. And just like your mindfulness practice is built by small actions over time, so is trust.

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As a community of Mindful Mamas, we want to know:

How have you let go of control and trusted 
your child recently?
How have you let go of control and trusted 

yourself recently?

or...

How have you let go of control and trusted 

a moment in your life recently?

Drop us a line in the comment section below and inspire us! You'll be entered in a drawing for a FREE copy of one of our all-time favorite mothering books, The Balanced Mom, by Bria Simpson. Gotta love a giveaway!!!

 


Comments

Corinne White
07/03/2012 7:09am

I love this post! I took my daughters (almost 5 and 2) hiking in Denali National Park today, a couple of hours from where we live, and as we hiked a particularly rocky part of a trail with running water coming down I had to fight the urge to make my older daughter hold my hand and slow down (the little one was in a backpack). But she was having so much fun that I bit my tongue -- and was amazed at how gracefully she navigated the rocks, moving like a mountain sheep herself in their terrain. It was a joy to see her confidence and pride grow as she did it on her own, and I was so grateful that I trusted her and got to see her blossom in this new experience.

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Jen
07/08/2012 12:15pm

Your comment made me smile, Corinne! I love how you explain your daughter's grace and pride in her self. So lovely. A true "mindful mothering" moment!!! Yay! Thanks for sharing this with us.

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Catherine
07/05/2012 12:56pm

We were gathering candy from the kids' huge stash to send to American soldiers, and I was tempted to suggest what they give and really get involved in the details, but I held back. They ended up giving way more of their candy than I thought they would - too much for the box we were using. Their generosity exceeded my expectation.

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Jen
07/08/2012 12:19pm

I love this, Catherine. I love that you experienced how trust allows people (things, situations, etc) to exceed our expectations. Such a important reminder on our mothering journey. Thank you for inspiring us with your experience!!

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You can definitely see your enthusiasm within the function you write. The world hopes for much more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. Always go following your heart.

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Its absoluetly true that truth is the most important factor of love. There are many other facts of life are explained in this blog which are very impressive to read. Guys understand these thinking and then share them with other friends I hope every body will know the true concept of love and trust.

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04/09/2016 5:56am

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04/11/2016 6:00am

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07/04/2017 11:29am

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