by guest contributor, Sigrid Kjeldsen, The Joyful Mother
For me, in my life, as with many moms I know, things can get crazy, loud, chaotic and messy. All things that have the potential to take me away from feeling good in the moment and at its worst, sink me into a blackhole of funk. I love order, I love beauty, harmony and most of all I love silence. Ha! How do you think that works with a rambunctious 4 year old and a super chatty 9 year old? I do get actual silence every now and then, but not often when the kids are home! But that is OK, you know!? I don’t expect my kids to be seen and not heard and a little noise and chaos is just part of what being a kid is all about.
So how do I survive? How do I keep my sanity? I yield to what is. When I feel this sort of sensory overload seeping into my consciousness and I feel myself sinking into a freak-out, I STOP and I breathe the moment in. I just let it all be... without a running narrative, without judgement without wanting or yearning for anything to be different in the moment. And then in that breath of acceptance, I get curious about the moment...
Ok - the little one is melting down... let that in. He won’t stop crying... breathe into that. I don’t know what to do to to help him... be one with that feeling.
It is like an opening, a surrender, a unification, with everything that exists in this moment. It quiets my mind and turns on the light of my intuitive mind. From here, I can see - see what my child needs and what I need to do (or not do...) to serve him in that moment. Because emotionally reacting to stressors often has no productive purpose. It's just us venting frustrated energy. It isn’t helping the situation and most times it makes it worse!
By yielding to what is, I also give my child permission to feel what he feels and, more often than not, the meltdown moment passes surprisingly quickly and life just goes back to its normal flow. Kids want to get back to that good feeling place and if we allow them to (or rather get out of their way emotionally) they will surely do just that.
The most fantastic thing that happens after all that is the feeling I have about ME! I am flooded with pride and love for both myself and my actions and my divine little children. We have connected from a place of truth and peace. I have given them a safe place to fall, a safe place to know and express their feelings and a safe place to know and feel my acceptance and my love.