“We can refuse to think certain thoughts.”
(Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life)
Do you believe that?
If you do believe it, what’s holding you back from living the life of your dreams, and by extension, mothering from your Truth? (By that I mean mothering in such a way that you are not constantly comparing how you mother to the unrealistic standards and expectations imposed by others.)
If you don’t believe you can refuse to think certain thoughts, answer this: Have you ever refused to think/believe a positive thought about yourself (Hay)? If you answered “yes” to this question, then I am afraid you have just contradicted yourself.
See, our beliefs are simply thoughts, and we can literally refuse to think certain thoughts.
THAT’S JUST HOW IT IS (Oh, really??)
Have you ever caught yourself saying the following in some way or another while shrugging your shoulders:
“After having kids, you just can’t lose that extra weight. Your body changes, and the weight is impossible to get rid of. That’s just how it is.”
“My life is crazy, overscheduled, and hectic because of the kids. That’s just how it is.”
“I just knew that when my kids were very little and before they were in school full-time, there would be no time for me. That’s just how it is.”
“Now that I’m a parent, I don’t have the luxury to switch jobs and follow my dreams. As a mom, I can’t do that. That’s just how it is.”
What about you? What is your, “that’s just how it is” belief? I know you have one! We all do. We all have misinformed beliefs that we make up based on our interpretation (not the neutral facts) of a situation.
For example, pretend you are newly preggers, and during these 9 months, you encounter several moms who lament about their truth of not being able to successfully shed the baby weight once their babes were born. Now, pretend you truly believe that your body will never return to its pre-baby weight after having a child because you allowed their interpretations to influence your thinking. Guess what actually ends up happening? You manifest this "truth"--a post-baby bod that is holding onto those darn extra 15lbs for dear life.
Why? Well, you actually psyched yourself out. It's almost as if you set yourself up to think, “What’s the point? It’s gonna be too hard to lose the weight, so why even try.” Then consequently, you (either consciously or unconsciously) neglect to eat well or work out regularly. Your actions followed suit with your beliefs whether your realized it or not.
(Pisst-- Please rest assured that I, a woman who birthed twins, am in no way attempting to suggest that achieving your ideal weight after giving birth is either easy, impossible, or anything in between. All I want to do is get you thinking about how your thinking impacts your journey to manifesting your unique, magnificent post-baby bod!)
THE ART OF LETTING GO
When you realize what is true FOR YOU, negative thoughts and beliefs let go of you. You don’t let go of them. Yes…you read that right.
Before a negative thought or belief can release the death-grip it has on you, you must become aware of it first (Step 1). Once you become aware of a negative thought, Step 2 is all about inquiring deeper about it. One way to do this is to consider this question posed by Byron Katie in, Loving What Is:
Who would you be without that thought?
This is a very powerful question. It’s powerful because the moment you begin to envision what you or your life would look like without that thought paralyzing you, you create a new vision to work toward. Remember, one of the most powerful ways to manifest anything in your life (even your ideal weight) is to envision it in your mind’s eye first and then believe that it is true for you.
Are you up for trying something fun and transformational? Okay, if you are with me, you are going to shine the bright light of awareness on ONE lie you keep telling yourself that keeps you from living your best life and/or mothering from your truth.
First, choose a belief that is causing havoc in your life or your mothering.
--If you need a little help to get started, chose one from our "that's just how it is" list above. My favorite (not listed above), which I have totally become aware of, and it has let go of its grip on my life is: “Life is hard. That’s just the way it is.”
Second, (here's the fun part) picture what your life would look like if you didn’t have this belief. What would you do differently?
For example, last December, when I questioned the authenticity of my belief that “life is hard,” I created a new vision for my life. I envisioned what MY joyful, peaceful, and “easy” life would look like. And I bet you’d never guess it had something to do with expressing my creativity through writing, having a flexible schedule to raise my girls, and inspiring moms to live their best life.
(It's no coincidence that as I write this post, I am sitting in the exact same spot at Starbucks as I did last year at this time. Except last year, I was a full-time doctoral student, and it was exam time.I was juggling writing a 30 page literature review and analyzing bivariate relationships to determine if I was going to run a multiple regression model on my nominal variables for my final stats paper. That was thrilling stuff, as you might imagine. But what I am writing and thinking about today is much more….me. And that’s what it is all about.)
Next week, we'll do the next step; talk about how to turn around a negative belief and replace it with one that is truth for you.
So, take a little time to pick a belief that is just annoying the hell out of you and visualize what your life would look like without it. See how it feels. You might just feel empowered!! Yay.